Countdown

At the beginning of this baseball season, the only thing people were counting was how many days it would take Barry Bonds to pass Babe Ruth and, eventually, break Hank Aaron’s record for career home runs.

Well, one and a half months into the season, we’re still waiting for Bonds to pass Ruth, and it has become clear that Bonds has the about as much chance of breaking Aaron’s home run record as Mischa Barton does of cracking triple digits on the weight scale.

Given the behavior of not only Russ Springer (he just lost control of those pitches, I swear) but also the reaction of the normally polite Houston fans the other night, I think it’s time for baseball enthusiasts to start a new countdown. How long until the climactic moment when Barry Bonds finally snaps?

The moment when the steroid allegations, the gradual depreciation of his body (have you seen Bonds try to catch a fly ball?), and even the occasional syringe just push Bonds over the edge. Rest assured, when it happens, it will be a moment that goes down in sporting history. Think of Mike Tyson biting Evander Holyfield in the ear, and put that moment on steroids (I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist). That will be Barry Bonds at some point this season.

Barry Bonds? Snapping? Impossible you say? I understand those of you who might be skeptical to this proposition as Bonds has always had a thick skin. For his entire career, he has been virtually immune to heckling from fans and negative press from the media. If there’s anyone who can ignore the crowd giving a standing ovation to a pitcher that just intentionally threw at his head on 5 consecutive pitches, it’s Barry Bonds. If there’s anyone who can blow off constant allegations of steroid usage, it’s Bonds.

HOWEVA, Bonds, this season, is not just dealing with the occasional fan with an asterisk sign or another hypocrite major leaguer (do you know anyone like this Jose Canseco?) accusing Bonds of steroid usage.

Last month, allegations surfaced that Bonds is to face perjury charges for lying under oath to a grand jury in 2003 when he said that he unknowingly took steroids. Unfortunately for Bonds, this perjury trial coincides with the release of ‘Game of Shadows’, which is basically a documentary proving that Bonds has knowingly taken enough steroids over the past 8 years to kill a small horse. If rumors of his use of steroids weren’t enough to make Barry sweat, maybe the thought of 20 years in jail will.

This perjury charge added fuel to the fire in the ‘We hate Barry Bonds club’ across America. Bonds could sense that the animosity directed towards him was reaching new heights, so he did what any logical American in his situation would have done…. make a reality television show.

Oh, you haven’t watched an episode of ‘Bonds on Bonds’ yet? Don’t worry, neither has the rest of America. Apparently, people aren’t interested in watching Bonds try to explain why he’s a victim of the system while he’s sitting in the comfort of his private jet.

The real kicker in this situation, though, is that Barry Bonds is not the player he once was. Not even close. This might have a little something to do with the fact that he’s stopped taking steroids, that is if he’s been taking steroids. In the two years since baseball began cracking down on steroid usage, Bonds knee has become completely useless and he now has 10-12 bone chips floating around in his left elbow. This could also be due to old age, but, either way, he is not the hitter he once was.

This affects Bonds more than anything else. Bonds has been able to deflect all the negative publicity throughout all the years by silencing people through his performance inflating his ego to record heights along the way. Allegedly, the primary reason he began using steroids was because he was upset that home run hitters were receiving all the love from the media and fans while his quietly impressive seasons were being ignored. Well, Bonds got what he wanted the past couple of seasons, and he was able to justify his behavior with each home run he hit. Barry Bonds ain’t hitting so many home runs anymore. He’s going to be living increasingly in a world where the anti-sentiment towards him increases as his ability decreases. An explosive cocktail.

To review the current state of Barry Bonds’ life. Facing possible jail time, check. Anti-sentiment of public at an all-time high, check. No chance of breaking Hank Aaron’s home run record, check. Let the countdown begin.